March 1st 2011.... Centurion, home. I am starting this journey kinda today even though it has been happening for a while now. My ticket is bought and paid for and I am set to return to Nebraska. With the plane ticket out of the way, it is much easier than other years where the ticket was a really big challenge for me. Now I can focus on the stuff that usually got left until the last minute.
Naturally there will always be a kinda fear in the back of my mind on the subject of getting through customs. The same challenge that I am faced with every year and even though it has been getting tighter to get through, I have managed to get in every year so far. Even with the one year that I got rejected, I still got in at the end of the day.
I am busy with a book that is teaching me that my thoughts, will open doors. If I spend my time on positive thinking, I will attract it to me. But inside of me I am screaming out that Yahweh is my only hope and only He can open those doors. But then in the Word, He says so many times that your way of thinking is more important than anything else. Did he not speak the world into being??? Could it not maybe be, that just as gravity is a natural law in nature, your thoughts and words are a law in the realm of God? Which thus includes us, our world too? I am still reading, I like what I read. It makes sense. I can see this too be true.
Thus also meaning that I do need to fill my mind with positive thinking about returning to camp more than anything else.
Challenges brings growth. But you need to keep your eyes open for it, because bad times could close it
Quote of the day: Do not let someone else's opinion, become your reality.
March 8th 2011.... Centurion, home. 78 days to go if I go ahead of schedule. In a way I can not believe that time is flying so fast. Just the other day it was so far away and now we are starting to count down to the moment to start again. I the back of my mind I am still fighting the thought of customs. Will they stop this year from happening? But then God is in control as he is always and I WILL chillax in Him. I have nothing else. I do not want anything else.
The Word that I received was to get ready. Get up to speed otherwise I am going to miss out on the blessing that will be coming soon. Something is coming. Something big. A difference in someones life. Mine. Jeff's. One of the kids. The counselors. Everyone.
The guys have been posting photos of Mexico and oh my soul, how much I wish I could have been there. The photos of them on the beach and stuff....oh my soul. I think I might be jealous.
March 10th 2011.... Centurion, home. Breathing. A good thing to remember. I am busy with a book called - Think and grow rich - and even thought people might think that it is all about money (which it is), it does have more growth in a personal manner more than anything else. You can really apply it to all kinds of life situations, growth that can help you to become more in handling life and things happening to you. Situations that you have control over and once that you get flung into without choice.
Something that I have realized in my life, is that at this stage I have been doing what I have been doing for such a long time, that I forgot why I am doing it. I need to get back to my why. Because if you know where you are going to, then you can actually get there. And something I also realized in reading these books like - As a man thinketh - is that as long as you know where you are going to, it doesn't matter if at times you have no clue where you are. Because you are still going somewhere.
I wonder if I have not lost a lot of vision in my life because I get "lost" and then I panic. But I never think of where I am going at that stage. Some of my Mannatech friend say that you need to start with the end in mind. What am I reaching for with Mannatech? Health.... Wealth.... To be able to do what ever I want to do, be able to go where ever I want to go.... Am I focusing on the hundreds of lives I can have a major impact on by doing this, by reaching my dream?
I have lost my vision for youth work. I got so busy with the management and the being a grown up, that I forgot what my heart beat... is. Luckily when your are lost, it doesn't mean it's then end, because you have a vision of where you want to end up and if that is not where you are, then you can change direction. Use a GPS. A compass. But you need to do something. You need to make the move. And not only the choice, you need to take the first step. YOU need to make this happen.
Remember, you are just lost. It's momentarily. Even if you do not know what your end destination is, you can still sit down and feel what your heart beat is. What God, Yahweh, has planted inside of you since the beginning, since before your birth. His dream of who and what you are to become, if you choose it.
So here I am still sitting in my awesome home. Getting ready not only in exercising the body, but also preparing my mind, for the challenge that will come. The dreams that may yet to appear...
May 6th 2011... Centurion, home. I think that this year takes the cake of all challenging years. Never have I ever had so many challenges getting to camp nor just living in my own world. Never has God challenged me in growth in so many ways as he is doing now. Luckily I have a great Spiritual coach that is helping me a lot in this time and I guess beyond as well. Opening my eyes to truths of God and truths about me.
My battle at this stage is my finances. I am standing on the edge of a very very very high cliff, kinda losing grip on my stand, having to jump to the other side called September. In a way I am very peaceful about it and yet not. I had a crunch time yesterday, and it was moved to today again. So today I will find out if I will continue this battle or move on to the next level. What I do know is that sometimes you make wrong mistakes and you have to do something that you would not always wanna do to survive. but in the long run, it's worth it.
Okay, so timeline - what is happening? At this stage I am ready for my Tour guide training. But we had to move it to the weekend sessions starting on the 14th because Chris wants me to do Indaba down in Durban with him. So not only will I get extra pay to cover some of my expenses, but I will also join the world that I am entering into now. The world of South African Tourism.
I got my drivers licence for the US ready, I have spending money in cash, my visa is ready, my paperwork will be done by end of next week and also then will I be able to do my Insurance. I have to pack my bags and finish my Guide training and then I am off to the US for 3 months this time. AWESOME!
The only challenge left will be customs. I do fear them not because I am not ready for them, but because they are unpredictable. I have no idea what they are going to decide, but what I do know, is that I am going through! There is a magnificent summer lying on the other side and I want to be part of it!
So let's see what time might bring. A lot can happen in the last 27 days before I fly.
