What dreams may come.... Tour of duty 2011

March 1st 2011.... Centurion, home. I am starting this journey kinda today even though it has been happening for a while now. My ticket is bought and paid for and I am set to return to Nebraska. With the plane ticket out of the way, it is much easier than other years where the ticket was a really big challenge for me. Now I can focus on the stuff that usually got left until the last minute.
Naturally there will always be a kinda fear in the back of my mind on the subject of getting through customs. The same challenge that I am faced with every year and even though it has been getting tighter to get through, I have managed to get in every year so far. Even with the one year that I got rejected, I still got in at the end of the day.

I am busy with a book that is teaching me that my thoughts, will open doors. If I spend my time on positive thinking, I will attract it to me. But inside of me I am screaming out that Yahweh is my only hope and only He can open those doors. But then in the Word, He says so many times that your way of thinking is more important than anything else. Did he not speak the world into being???  Could it not maybe be, that just as gravity is a natural law in nature, your thoughts and words are a law in the realm of God? Which thus includes us, our world too? I am still reading, I like what I read. It makes sense. I can see this too be true.
Thus also meaning that I do need to fill my mind with positive thinking about returning to camp more than anything else.

Challenges brings growth. But you need to keep your eyes open for it, because bad times could close it

Quote of the day: Do not let someone else's opinion, become your reality.

March 8th 2011.... Centurion, home. 78 days to go if I go ahead of schedule. In a way I can not believe that time is flying so fast. Just the other day it was so far away and now we are starting to count down to the moment to start again. I the back of my mind I am still fighting the thought of customs. Will they stop this year from happening? But then God is in control as he is always and I WILL chillax in Him. I have nothing else. I do not want anything else.
The Word that I received was to get ready. Get up to speed otherwise I am going to miss out on the blessing that will be coming soon. Something is coming. Something big. A difference in someones life. Mine. Jeff's. One of the kids. The counselors. Everyone.

The guys have been posting photos of Mexico and oh my soul, how much I wish I could have been there. The photos of them on the beach and stuff....oh my soul. I think I might be jealous.

March 10th 2011.... Centurion, home. Breathing. A good thing to remember. I am busy with a book called - Think and grow rich - and even thought people might think that it is all about money (which it is), it does have more growth in a personal manner more than anything else. You can really apply it to all kinds of life situations, growth that can help you to become more in handling life and things happening to you. Situations that you have control over and once that you get flung into without choice.
Something that I have realized in my life, is that at this stage I have been doing what I have been doing for such a long time, that I forgot why I am doing it. I need to get back to my why. Because if you know where you are going to, then you can actually get there. And something I also realized in reading these books like - As a man thinketh - is that as long as you know where you are going to, it doesn't matter if at times you have no clue where you are. Because you are still going somewhere.
I wonder if I have not lost a lot of vision in my life because I get "lost" and then I panic. But I never think of where I am going at that stage. Some of my Mannatech friend say that you need to start with the end in mind. What am I reaching for with Mannatech? Health.... Wealth.... To be able to do what ever I want to do, be able to go where ever I want to go.... Am I focusing on the hundreds of lives I can have a major impact on by doing this, by reaching my dream?

I have lost my vision for youth work. I got so busy with the management and the being a grown up, that I forgot what my heart beat... is. Luckily when your are lost, it doesn't mean it's then end, because you have a vision of where you want to end up and if that is not where you are, then you can change direction. Use a GPS. A compass. But you need to do something. You need to make the move. And not only the choice, you need to take the first step. YOU need to make this happen.
Remember, you are just lost. It's momentarily. Even if you do not know what your end destination is, you can still sit down and feel what your heart beat is. What God, Yahweh, has planted inside of you since the beginning, since before your birth. His dream of who and what you are to become, if you choose it.

So here I am still sitting in my awesome home. Getting ready not only in exercising the body, but also preparing my mind, for the challenge that will come. The dreams that may yet to appear...

May 6th 2011... Centurion, home. I think that this year takes the cake of all challenging years. Never have I ever had so many challenges getting to camp nor just living in my own world. Never has God challenged me in growth in so many ways as he is doing now. Luckily I have a great Spiritual coach that is helping me a lot in this time and I guess beyond as well. Opening my eyes to truths of God and truths about me.

My battle at this stage is my finances. I am standing on the edge of a very very very high cliff, kinda losing grip on my stand, having to jump to the other side called September. In a way I am very peaceful about it and yet not. I had a crunch time yesterday, and it was moved to today again. So today I will find out if I will continue this battle or move on to the next level. What I do know is that sometimes you make wrong mistakes and you have to do something that you would not always wanna do to survive. but in the long run, it's worth it.

Okay, so timeline - what is happening? At this stage I am ready for my Tour guide training. But we had to move it to the weekend sessions starting on the 14th because Chris wants me to do Indaba down in Durban with him. So not only will I get extra pay to cover some of my expenses, but I will also join the world that I am entering into now. The world of South African Tourism.
I got my drivers licence for the US ready, I have spending money in cash, my visa is ready, my paperwork will be done by end of next week and also then will I be able to do my Insurance. I have to pack my bags and finish my Guide training and then I am off to the US for 3 months this time. AWESOME!

The only challenge left will be customs. I do fear them not because I am not ready for them, but because they are unpredictable. I have no idea what they are going to decide, but what I do know, is that I am going through! There is a magnificent summer lying on the other side and I want to be part of it!

So let's see what time might bring. A lot can happen in the last 27 days before I fly.

The Creepy Countdown

I hate the last days for a trip to America. For some odd reason I always go into a deathly sadness because I know that my time is running out. I know that my friends on this side has much to do with this and it is hard to let go every time. But I must confess that spending an extra 3 week after camp this year made it so much easier. But I still feel it, like now. I hate it.
There are a lot of things to do in South Africa. A lot of new adventures. As always I know that my time is over on this side, but I still wish that somehow I could stay here. Finding friends and family like these are not easy. This year in SA I need to try and find more friends. In the period before this years trip to America, I because way to much of a secluded troll and I do not want to be like that anymore. But it's not just making friends and tada!!! There you have new friends. When you look at the relationship between me and Jeff, me and Shawn, Trisha, Rolanda, you will find that those relationships take time and pain to build.
So leaving relationships on this side, is not easy.

But! With the new international adventures waving on the horizon, it also makes me more comfortable leaving this year. Guatemala and Texas, camp next year with the new barn. me saving money from the moment I set foot in Africa for the next trip...Maybe this one showed me what I need to so to do it better.

But....it still hurts.

Last year was crazy. I can not remember when last I cried soooo much. saying goodbye to the gang was a terrible on, but then I left while camp was still running and that made things worse. And maybe even the underlying tone of not know when or if I would see them again. Making this year easy because I know I will see them again soon and that our friendships are solid.

But yes. I have 3 days left. On the fourth I will start my travel back to South Africa and I must confess that I am excited about the travelling part. I love flying. I love airports most of the time. I have but 55 minute in Minneapolis to change planes and that's going to be a lot of fun!
In Amsterdam I have almost 4 hours of which about 1 and a half will be transit. Nice. need to buy something on the airport this time around!

Something crazy happened this morning. I had to capture more video material at Brenna's and while I was there Dawson asked me in a panic, when I said that I am leaving, if I was flying today back to SA. Something inside me cracked for the first time in the final days here. I almost cried. Something between me and him. An attachment that goes deeper than just a summer or a moment. Could be from the first time I met him. But then it could also mean that somewhere in the future we will be doing something great together. I have no idea but at this stage I have noticed that such things do happen. But he almost broke through to my heart.
I am still standing strong, less than 3 days to go.
Time is flying at this stage. To fast.

30 August 2010... So this is me writing less than 24 hours before I am leaving back for South Africa. It finally hit this morning. I am basically finished with everything that I need to do, the reason why I came this year. And with nothing really to do, I am starting to freak out in a orderly manner.
I packed my bags and guess what...not everything fits!!!!! How hysterical is that.... and to make it ever worse, I find more and more stuff that I have not packed yet making me wonder if I should not maybe leave some stuff. But my heart has trouble with that, so I am breathing slow. Very very slow to make sure that I am not losing my mind.
I forgot my towel at Alexa's place and maybe I should leave that one here for next time. Can be a great idea. But then I need to buy new ones in South Africa. Not a bad idea actually.
And less to pack for when I come back again.

While I am writing, my stomach rolls around in my throat and my heart skips beats every now and then. I am soooo glad that I am only now experiencing this. Last year was a killer! It's not funny. In a way I am avoiding everyone today because I know that my eyes are just going to tear up and I am going to make a fool of myself again.

Tomorrow this time, I will be in the air between Omaha and Minneapolis. Now that will be an adventure. 55 minutes to get off the plane, get my bags, book them in and get on the next plane.....now there's something to get excited about.

1 September 2010... Amsterdam.

And so things come to pass. The wait ended in a journey to my home world. My whole heart hurting like crazy because of leaving people that I love with all my heart. I cleaned, I packed, I stressed about leaving, I stressed about not being able to do anything about it. And just to make the morning more interesting, I played a round of Quirkle with Nana and she won. And just as time did not want to pass, it disappeared in the wink of an eye. Before I knew it, I was in the car with Jeff and Trisha and the kids on our way to Omaha.

In comparison with last year, it was as if I wasn’t leaving this year. No glooming or dying or anything. We kuiered in the car like we were just on our way somewhere. And instead of just dropping me like always, we parked and they walked in with me. Taking it easy all the way.

But. Who have guessed that the thing that would break my no tears morning, would be a little boy giving my leg a hug. A little girl giving me a kiss. Even now here on the other side of the world, tears fills my eyes thinking of that moment. My thoughts were to chat for a while and just before my flight would leave say goodbye. But with my heart breaking at this yester from Rylan, I knew that it was time to go. Letting go as always of Jeff and Trisha, Papa and Nana, Lonnie and Brenda and the kids, and all the amazing people I now consider my family.

There is a smile on my face every time they announce something over the com system here at the airport in Amsterdam. How is it possible that I can understand what the lady is saying in my own language but spoken in a foreign tongue. And it sounds so funny and weird at the same time.

I have a 10 hour flight ahead of me. Before that 3 hour wait. My body is hurting, I can feel the jet lack starting to ooze into my veins. I just love international travel. I might just go explore the airport as I have enough time to do so.

3 September 2010... And now I am home. Homesick. Weird.

And what should I say about this trip.... To God be ALL the glory. He gives me all I have and all I need even when I do not deserve it at all. He is always the same and His love for me never changes, no matter what I do! He deserve and has all the glory for all my trips!

Colorado - The Rocky Mountains

The Colorado Expedition

Day 1

Many years I have dreamt about this trip. The trip after camp with Jeff and Trisha, not even to mention Papa and Nana. Papa has been packing all week long to get everything ready for all the different things that they were going to need to do on this trip. From off road motorbikes to four wheelers to 2 grills and tents. We are meeting up with Lonnie and his family tomorrow somewhere in Colorado for 2 days and I am looking forward to be on this adventure with them.

We started off this morning at 10 and slowly but surely travelled all day to a small town call Sidney close to the border of Nebraska and Colorado. We will on enter Colorado tomorrow morning as we leave the campground heading towards Denver, Colorado. Everything around us, is still very flat and amazingly reminding me so much of the Free State. And crazy enough, they have sand everywhere! Apparently there are kinda sand dunes to the north of us. 

Day 2

What a beautiful morning. Last night was an interesting first night with me sleeping waaaayyyyy out in the middle of nowhere. I brought the blow up mattress because I just hate sleeping on a hard surface and to my dismay, the mattress, which I had to blow up with my mouth, deflated in the middle of the night. And to make things even worse, I kicked my blankets of so somewhere in the dark of the night and for a weird change, it got really cold. In Nebraska, in the summer.

But we survived and loved it, loved getting on the road again with the Schraders and the Keisers.

We left the campsite at Sidney and travelled all the way to Cheyenne where we changed direction south. It was a kinda long way around, but at least Jeff and I could add another state to our list of states visited. I am standing on 24 now I think. almost half way. We had an appointment in Denver at one and we didn’t want to miss it. The scenery along the way was soft and beautiful, to tell the truth most of the way to Cheyenne reminded me a lot of South Africa. Made me miss home. As we were moving closer to Denver, the Rocky Mountains started making their appearance and what a sight. First time in the 12 years that I have been coming to America, that I have seen real mountains. High mountains. Just like in South Africa. But in a way these are more impressive, because it has the real pine and cedar trees that I have been dreaming about side my childhood visions of the TV program Jopie Adam and his bear. It kinda looks the same.

But first we had the stop in Denver, a city that appeared out of nowhere and rose up into the sky. I liked it. With some turns and tumbles, we found a Walmart where the camper was left, the Ford became our primary mode of transportation and we mapped our way to Casa Bonita where we met up with Lonnie and the family for lunch. What an experience.

I cannot really say that the food was spectacular, but the feel of the place and the look was awesome. With a deep pool in the middle and different levels worth different themes, the place really did a great job of entertaining their guests. From the food to the games we played afterwards.

They had short shows while you were dining, funny skits with people diving from on high into the pool below. Pretty impressive.

After our Denver adventure, we directed our attention on getting into the mountains and find a spot to set camp and start with the outdoor fun. We had to stop to register permits for the bikes and four wheeler. It didn’t take us long to be engulfed but the huge mountains as we snaked up the mountains on our way to Devils head. The road shook everything either into place or out, but we settled into an outlook point at the top of this particular mountain. The temperature dropped a lot and at this moment I am seriously think about getting my mere red Camp Sonshine sweeter to try and keep the cold off of my body. I am not sure if I will succeed in this attempt.

It is becoming darker, the first campfire is going and the kids are cooking hot dogs for dinner. My first night in the breathtaking Rocky Mountains.

Day 3

As the sun touched the tents sides, my first reaction to this beautiful day was to take photos. The atmosphere was more from something out of a movie, but I got a few ones that work just fine. Dawson revived the fire from last night with all the passion of a boy his age and we spend some time doing this, until the grown-ups started joining us with the familiar greeting of “you guys were up early this morning”.

I spend some time in the woods listening to music and chatting to God about where I am in life with Him. Something I have wanted to do for so long. Even with the music in my ears, it was enchanting quite with only the sun playing from each gap in the trees above. The air was fresh with coolness, almost sparkling with all the drops of morning dew on everything.

As soon as breakfast was done, the guys got ready for the first trip of the day into the mountains with the bikes. The ladies were right behind them with the four wheelers and Papa and I when riding with the boys. I do not have a clue how long we were riding, but it was fun and scary at the same time. You have to kinda keep up with the group and be careful enough to not lose yourself on the way there. The nature around here is spectacular and I had a hard time staying on the path and gasping for air because of the beauty around me.

Lunch was delicious. Bacon, some lettuce and more to make a gourmet sandwich.

There is a rock by the bathroom, one overlooking the beautiful mountains. My hike was worth every step walking there and spending some time thinking and listening. With the entire modern world out of the way, the basics of nature feel so much more closer to God. Much more perfect than all the wonders of man. More detail and small things than what we could imagine or dream of. And splendour of One so much bigger than whom we could ever dream of or comprehend.

And in the silents of this stunning moment, the majestic clouds up over this green landscape battle and roll and flow into the blue endless sky. I was for a moment just overcome with the amazingness of where we are, and I loved every second of it.

This afternoon the Lonnie Schrader party had to leave us. School is starting in a day’s time and they have a long drive ahead of them. In my heart I do feel sad to see them leave and I just realize how much I do love them. We are getting ready for dinner and not long before it is time to go to bed again. Not something I am looking forward to at this stage.

Do I have a target on my forehead? Is bachelor all over my face? The more there are chatter about why I am not married yet, the more I feel like I need just to settle down and just call it a day. But then I see the love between these families, Jeff and Trisha, Papa and Nana, Lonnie and Brenna, it just makes me want to hope that there is still hope. Although hope has left my heart a long time ago.

Around the campfire a lot of things are said and done and told and stuff...a lot of dreams and stories touched.

I did last night what I do best, watch a episode of House in the middle of nowhere in the mountain hills of the Rockies’.  It took me into the night and placed me around a campfire. Sometimes I wish that I had real SA coffee to sip on by the fire, but because we have no electricity I cannot use the microwave to warm up some milk. Nothing to lose my mine over.

And guess what, we all slept in the camper.

Day 4

What a morning. Breakfast was awesome and afterwards we went to take some pictures and found the most amazing outlook spot. And to get there I realized that Jeff and I were riding the trails together. I liked it. Never thought we would be doing these kinda things together.

So the guys and girls are out riding at the moment, but the word is out that we are going to pack-up and go to another campsite for the next 4 nights. Sites with electricity. And I am glad, because I need some work done before we get home.

After a quick lunch, the Keiser Schrader family went for a ride. I stayed with the kids and we fell asleep and it was peaceful. Packing up was next up and we got everything ready for our journey to the next site. Papa wanted to take a new route that they have never took before to get to the other side of the mountain. Scott’s text message came just too late to warn us of the wonderful 20 mile an hour route that lied before us. We snaked through the mountains, saw the most amazing scenes of beauty, rocks, boulders, trees and breathtaking landscapes from up high. I do not think that the video and photos that it took, will really show what we saw in all its splendour.

After about 2 hours of travelling we got back to civilization and to the next campsite. Mueller State park is located on top of a ridge with a whole bunch of trails to walk. The bikes wouldn’t do us any good here, so as far as I know, we will be driving around this area tomorrow. Sightseeing and going to place of interest. I have heard the names dropped like Garden of the Gods and the Royal Gorge. Also the alpine sled in .......  I have no idea what to expect, but all of these places I have looked up on the internet and seems to be amazing. I am looking forward to it. I would like to do some work at some stage. Session 5 lies like a mountain before me.

Day 5

Dinner last night was awesome. All my favourites combined, from Sloppy Joes to nachos cheeeeeessseee!!! Yeaahhh baby! Sleeping inside was a blessing again, thank you to all the wonderful bears out there! Heheheheheee....

Oh what a day. We went to the Royal Gorge close to Canyon City. I looked at it on the internet but never thought that we could actually go there. And it was amazing. Getting into the park scared me a little, but so worth it. I enjoyed my first carousel ride on a real carousel and even though I was still kinda carsick, I totally enjoyed this weird experience.

The first attraction that we did was an incline coaster that took us all the way down to the bottom of the gorge and the river. Amazing beyond. The sight was amazing, beautiful and huge!!!! And being so close to the river and seeing the white water, made me want to do rafting, but we could not do it.

After getting back to the top we had lunch on the edge of the gorge, looking at whatever was next on the list to experience. From that position we could see the suspension bridge as well as the cable car and that would be the next one to do. Swinging over a 1000 feet above the Arkansas River looking at everything from a total different point of view. But instead of looking at all the cool stuff on the other side, we went right back on the cable car and rented a golf cart to drive across the massive suspension bridge to have a look at the attractions on the south side of the Royal Gorge.

The kids totally enjoyed the petting zoo with llama’s and elk and buffalo and donkeys. But for me the old cowboy town with the jail and the humongous chair that makes you look like a dwarf. I had my photo taken with two very rough looking cowboys and we did some gold panning just like they did so many years ago.

And just as the day almost came to an end, Papa treated Trisha and Jeff to a swing over the gorge with the Sky coaster. I recorded everything, the screams and laughs and “oh my souls”. We took a look at the multimedia event at the Gorge theatre and polished up on the history of the Royal gorge and everything that happened there. The amazing thing about the bridge, when you drive over it, you can see through between the floor planks all the way to the bottom, open air around us and you do not have to walk because we were on a golf cart.

But to end of the day off, we took a ride on the kiddies train? It basically took us in a circle with the weirdest commentary as we passed the weirdest things...like. 2 dices... called paradise.

We rounded off the day by driving back to the campsite through the amazing countryside of Colorado and the Rocky Mountains.

It is soooooo beautiful out here. In a way it is so surreal and in a way I wanna stay here. But that would make the beauty disappear.

What an amazing day.

Day 6

The boys went riding. The girls are going out to do some shopping and guess who I am joining. Luckily I lovvvveeeee shopping. Instead of doing shopping like I thought it was going to be like, we went to a crazy little town called Cripple Creek. An old mining town that was preparing for a festival for old war vets over the weekend and that made the town more alive than I imagine it usually would be. The most interesting part about this town, it is one of three towns in Colorado that may have gambling. And believe me, if it is a small kiddies store, it has a backdoor to a gambling room. Grand beautiful room most of the time. To go and have something to eat, you have to go through a big gambling room. It’s crazy!

We walked down the main street and back up again entering all the small stores along the way. The ladies thought that I would get mad or go crazy, having to do all these window shopping and slowly walking with them around town looking at all the small things, but I really enjoyed just walking through this crazy piece of American history called Cripple Creek.

Brinley made it a lot of fun and Rylan and I got to do a lot of stuff together. At some stage I became his dad with people chatting to me about this cute little boy of mine.

We spent the rest of the evening just hanging at the camper, and if I am not mistaken this was also the evening they got me playing games...kinda. Well, only Quirkle. Now I love it, and they are teasing me because I don’t like playing games but I looovveee this one tooooo much. I might just wanna take one with me to play with mom and dad. That will be a first.

Day 7

The day of sightseeing again.

May I just start by saying that I totally love getting to know the Schraders in such a close environment. I love spending time with Jeff and Trisha in the evenings playing games and watching movies and things. Eat ice cream and secretly drinking Vanilla Coke in very small cups.

We left the campsite and drove down to Colorado Springs to the Garden of the gods and it was beautiful. Even the drive down the mountains was amazing. Seeing the flat lands on the other side of Colorado Springs didn’t excite me much but just seeing Pikes Peak and all the Rocky Mountains are totally amazing. We drove around the peaking rock formations and climbed some of them with the kids. But it does look like something out of Star Trek and for some reason I am sure that they recorded some scenes there or just got a lot of inspiration there.

After that we made our way to Seven Falls. It is in the Cheyenne South Canyon and it was soooo impressive. I am not even trying to imagine what it took to create that rock box canyon but it is so awesome. We climbed the 200 and something stairs to the top of the falls hiking some more at the top, Trisha Jeff Brinley and me. It is a beautiful part of the world. We had lunch there as well and naturally I had tooooo much food again. Finishing last and eating too much. But I got rid of all of that pretty quick with the climbing and walking.

At the end we went up to the observation point, luckily this time not with the stairs because they had a mountain elevator that took us to the top. What an amazing view! We were being able to see tall seven falls and that was awesome. Just really really high.

After we drove back to the campsite, Jeff and Trisha and I went with the Wilsons to eat at a small restaurant called Wines of Colorado. Basically a liquor store where you can taste the wine, but they have a restaurant section as well. The waitresses where running around like crazy and we had to wait for the food for ages. The drinks (Coke) were terrible and I ended up not drinking anything. Our waitress claimed that her boyfriend/fiancé were South African, but the other waitresses told us that he wasn’t. Crazy.

After that we went to Walmart to look for a gift for Papa and Nana, but we could not find anything.

And once again our day was ended with a movie and a midnight snack. Lovely!

Day 8

The journey back home starts today.

Even though we packed up and started driving back, we still had the luxury of stopping at Rainbow Falls to go drive in the mountains with the bikes one more time. This time was different because I got to drive both times. The first route was with Papa and Nana and Trisha and it was amazing. We curled through the ridges and bends for about an hour and a half. I love driving with the mosquito and although we were driving very slowly at times, I held back from time to time and then let it rip when there was enough space between us. The bumps and turns were so much fun and I think I even got some air at one spot.

Then it was Jeff’s turn to drive with us. Naturally he is the man so we went on a route a little more challenging than the first one and although I was kinda scared of the tougher routes, I really enjoyed it. So much that I actually went all the way to the top of the mountain that we challenged.

That was awesome. I could see for miles and Pikes Peak was majestically watching over us from a distance. Going down was almost even more fun because more speed was involved.

I must say that I truly enjoyed it too much.

After that we drove down the mountains past the Garden of the gods past Colorado Springs and back north towards Denver. We stopped at Castle Rock for some shopping which I found a little bit boring because there was almost not e store that I truly enjoyed. But it was an interesting stop and a lso the point where we turned in the direction of Kansas and away for the beautiful mountains that has been our home for more than a week.

The giant became a blue silhouette vision over our shoulders and Pikes Peak was the last farewell before we entered the farm ranches of east Colorado and our overnight point in Seibert CO.

We finished our evening of with a round or two of that crazy game called Quirkle.

Day 9

Early morning and we are on our way back to Nebraska. The wind is blowing like crazy making going to the bathroom a fun experience. The road feels long and straight but we battle our way through the cornfields that stretches as far as the eye can see.