There are a lot of things to do in South Africa. A lot of new adventures. As always I know that my time is over on this side, but I still wish that somehow I could stay here. Finding friends and family like these are not easy. This year in SA I need to try and find more friends. In the period before this years trip to America, I because way to much of a secluded troll and I do not want to be like that anymore. But it's not just making friends and tada!!! There you have new friends. When you look at the relationship between me and Jeff, me and Shawn, Trisha, Rolanda, you will find that those relationships take time and pain to build.
So leaving relationships on this side, is not easy.
But! With the new international adventures waving on the horizon, it also makes me more comfortable leaving this year. Guatemala and Texas, camp next year with the new barn. me saving money from the moment I set foot in Africa for the next trip...Maybe this one showed me what I need to so to do it better.
But....it still hurts.
Last year was crazy. I can not remember when last I cried soooo much. saying goodbye to the gang was a terrible on, but then I left while camp was still running and that made things worse. And maybe even the underlying tone of not know when or if I would see them again. Making this year easy because I know I will see them again soon and that our friendships are solid.
But yes. I have 3 days left. On the fourth I will start my travel back to South Africa and I must confess that I am excited about the travelling part. I love flying. I love airports most of the time. I have but 55 minute in Minneapolis to change planes and that's going to be a lot of fun!
In Amsterdam I have almost 4 hours of which about 1 and a half will be transit. Nice. need to buy something on the airport this time around!
Something crazy happened this morning. I had to capture more video material at Brenna's and while I was there Dawson asked me in a panic, when I said that I am leaving, if I was flying today back to SA. Something inside me cracked for the first time in the final days here. I almost cried. Something between me and him. An attachment that goes deeper than just a summer or a moment. Could be from the first time I met him. But then it could also mean that somewhere in the future we will be doing something great together. I have no idea but at this stage I have noticed that such things do happen. But he almost broke through to my heart.
I am still standing strong, less than 3 days to go.
Time is flying at this stage. To fast.
30 August 2010... So this is me writing less than 24 hours before I am leaving back for South Africa. It finally hit this morning. I am basically finished with everything that I need to do, the reason why I came this year. And with nothing really to do, I am starting to freak out in a orderly manner.
I packed my bags and guess what...not everything fits!!!!! How hysterical is that.... and to make it ever worse, I find more and more stuff that I have not packed yet making me wonder if I should not maybe leave some stuff. But my heart has trouble with that, so I am breathing slow. Very very slow to make sure that I am not losing my mind.
I forgot my towel at Alexa's place and maybe I should leave that one here for next time. Can be a great idea. But then I need to buy new ones in South Africa. Not a bad idea actually.
And less to pack for when I come back again.
While I am writing, my stomach rolls around in my throat and my heart skips beats every now and then. I am soooo glad that I am only now experiencing this. Last year was a killer! It's not funny. In a way I am avoiding everyone today because I know that my eyes are just going to tear up and I am going to make a fool of myself again.
Tomorrow this time, I will be in the air between Omaha and Minneapolis. Now that will be an adventure. 55 minutes to get off the plane, get my bags, book them in and get on the next plane.....now there's something to get excited about.
1 September 2010... Amsterdam.
And so things come to pass. The wait ended in a journey to my home world. My whole heart hurting like crazy because of leaving people that I love with all my heart. I cleaned, I packed, I stressed about leaving, I stressed about not being able to do anything about it. And just to make the morning more interesting, I played a round of Quirkle with Nana and she won. And just as time did not want to pass, it disappeared in the wink of an eye. Before I knew it, I was in the car with Jeff and Trisha and the kids on our way to Omaha.
In comparison with last year, it was as if I wasn’t leaving this year. No glooming or dying or anything. We kuiered in the car like we were just on our way somewhere. And instead of just dropping me like always, we parked and they walked in with me. Taking it easy all the way.
But. Who have guessed that the thing that would break my no tears morning, would be a little boy giving my leg a hug. A little girl giving me a kiss. Even now here on the other side of the world, tears fills my eyes thinking of that moment. My thoughts were to chat for a while and just before my flight would leave say goodbye. But with my heart breaking at this yester from Rylan, I knew that it was time to go. Letting go as always of Jeff and Trisha, Papa and Nana, Lonnie and Brenda and the kids, and all the amazing people I now consider my family.
There is a smile on my face every time they announce something over the com system here at the airport in Amsterdam. How is it possible that I can understand what the lady is saying in my own language but spoken in a foreign tongue. And it sounds so funny and weird at the same time.
I have a 10 hour flight ahead of me. Before that 3 hour wait. My body is hurting, I can feel the jet lack starting to ooze into my veins. I just love international travel. I might just go explore the airport as I have enough time to do so.
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